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Bitte ganz lieb um Korrektur!
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isi-smile
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BeitragVerfasst am: 05 Dez 2006 - 13:12:19    Titel: Bitte ganz lieb um Korrektur!

Ich soll in Englisch eine Vortrag über meine Lieblingsgruppe halten.
Ich habe mich für "Good Charlotte" entschieden und meinen Vortrag ausgearbeitet.
Könnte sich bitte jemand meinen Text durchlesen und verbessern?
Das wäre wirklich sehr lieb!

Dankeschön schonmal im Voraus!


Now it is my turn to introduce you my favourite music group which is called “Good Charlotte”.
At first I want to tell you some facts about “Good Charlotte” and the reason why I choose them.
Then we are going to listen to one of their songs which is called “The Anthem”.
And finally I like to add some words to the song.

Good Charlotte
The twins Benji and Joel Madden who are the founders of “Good Charlotte” had have a very hard childhood: their family was not very rich and after the father left their mother their live became even harder.
Also at school it was not very easy for them, because they had been outsiders all the time.
The other kids had always laughed at them, but Benji and Joel held together and went on. In 1996 Benji , Joel and their only two mates Paul and Billy have founded the group “Good Charlotte”. “Good Charlotte” was , actually, a children’s book from which the mother of the twins had often read to them. They played their first gig in a cellar in front of 20 people. They are too lazy to learn songs from other groups, therefore they play just their own songs.
Small concerts were enough to become a little bit famous, that is why they had not to work as cleaners any longer. They got very soon loyal fans who became more and more each day.
They also took part in a competition for new young artists. When “Good Charlotte” had won they became supported by some radio stations. Then they published their debut called “Good Charlotte”. There are already five discs at the market and one is better than the other. And now “Good Charlotte” is known in the whole world.

I choose them because I like their music style very much.
Actually “Good Charlotte” is a punk group, but their style also is influenced by rock, pop and ballades, therefore it is a very good mix. They digest their own emotions and experiences in their lyrics, that is why the lyrics often sound sad or aggressive, but also very openhearted. To writhe a song is like a therapy for them.
cryptonite
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BeitragVerfasst am: 06 Dez 2006 - 06:20:57    Titel: Re: Bitte ganz lieb um Korrektur!

isi-smile hat folgendes geschrieben:
Ich soll in Englisch eine Vortrag über meine Lieblingsgruppe halten.
Ich habe mich für "Good Charlotte" entschieden und meinen Vortrag ausgearbeitet.
Könnte sich bitte jemand meinen Text durchlesen und verbessern?
Das wäre wirklich sehr lieb!

Dankeschön schonmal im Voraus!


Now it is my turn to introduce you my favourite music group which is called “Good Charlotte”.
At first I want to tell you some facts about “Good Charlotte” and the reason why I choose them.
--> ...why I chose them.
Then we are going to listen to one of their songs which is called “The Anthem”.
And finally I like to add some words to the song.
--> ?, sorry, keine Ahnung was du da meinst!

Good Charlotte
The twins Benji and Joel Madden who are the founders of “Good Charlotte” had have a very hard childhood: their family was not very rich and after
--> ...had a very...
the father left their mother their live became even harder.
--> their life...(live ist das Verb!)
Also at school it was not very easy for them, because they had been outsiders all the time.
The other kids had always laughed at them, but Benji and Joel held together
-->...and Joel stuck together...
and went on. In 1996 Benji , Joel and their only two mates Paul and Billy have founded the group “Good Charlotte”. “Good Charlotte” was , actually,
--> ...Billy founded the group... (ohne have!)
a children’s book from which the mother of the twins had often read to them. They played their first gig in a cellar in front of 20 people. They are too lazy to learn songs from other groups, therefore they play just their own songs.
Small concerts were enough to become a little bit famous, that is why they had not to work as cleaners any longer.
--> ...why they didn't have to work as...
They got very soon loyal fans who became more and more each day.
They also took part in a competition for new young artists. When “Good Charlotte” had won they became supported by some radio stations. Then they published their debut called “Good Charlotte”. There are already five discs at the market and one is better than the other.
---> ...on the market...
And now “Good Charlotte” is known in the whole world.

I choose them because I like their music style very much.
--> I chose...
Actually “Good Charlotte” is a punk group, but their style also is influenced by rock, pop and ballades, therefore it is a very good mix. They digest their own emotions and experiences in their lyrics, that is why the lyrics often sound sad or aggressive, but also very openhearted. To writhe a song is like a therapy for them. Very Happy
--> is like therapy (ohne a)


Hoffe das hilft dir weiter!

LG
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BeitragVerfasst am: 06 Dez 2006 - 08:49:15    Titel:

To writhe a song wäre zwar ein lustiges wortspiel, aber wahrscheinlich meinst du to write a song, oder?
Zwanglos
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BeitragVerfasst am: 06 Dez 2006 - 14:01:22    Titel:

'had have a very hard childhood' -> 'have had a very hard childhood'
weaver
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BeitragVerfasst am: 06 Dez 2006 - 14:39:57    Titel:

Zwanglos hat folgendes geschrieben:
'had have a very hard childhood' -> 'have had a very hard childhood'


nonsense! > they had a very hard childhood

(sind doch keine kinder mehr!)

see f ys: http://kamaratweb.sk/pics/fotky/screen/good%20charlotte.jpg
Zwanglos
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BeitragVerfasst am: 06 Dez 2006 - 18:41:50    Titel:

True. I was just looking at the sentence itself, not the overall context.
isi-smile
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BeitragVerfasst am: 09 Dez 2006 - 15:45:22    Titel:

Dankeschön für eure Hilfe!
Ihr seid superlieb Very Happy !
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