Sammelthread für Korrekturen

christo1984 · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 17.11.2006 Beiträge: 63

18. I look oft on the music website in the internet www.musiccommunity-sachsenanhalt.de , where I inform me over regional music.
19. That is a regional forum where some bands from bands from Sachsen- Anhalt suggest oneself and her music.
20. I find the idea from the homepage very good.
23. Also you can in the internet downloading films, music and other things.

24. I hear many music in the internet at example pop, rock or metal ( ( heavy metal, trash metal. black metal, metalcore and powermetal)

kann jemand bitte mal die Grammatik bei den 5 Sätzen verbessern

F4TIH · Gast

christo1984 · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 17.11.2006 Beiträge: 63

21. This community represents soon in coperation with Goitzsche radio a compilation.

den noch

weaver · Senior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 03.03.2006 Beiträge: 2472

gib den mal bei www.spellcheck.net ein.

F4TIH · Gast

Übrigens das habe ich gern gemacht

SuperMario69 · Newbie Anmeldungsdatum: 28.03.2007 Beiträge: 1

Ich hätte eine ganz dringende Bitte!

Ich wollte fragen, ob mir vielleicht morgen jmd. am späten Nachmittag einen Text, eine Debatte auf Englisch durchschaun kann. Ich habe am Freitag die letzte schriftl. Arbeit vor der Matura (in Deutschland Abitur) und die muss positiv sein!
Als Thema kommt Travelling und es kommt sicher eine Debatte mit 3-4 Leuten, ich würde morgen eine schreiben, es wäre wirklich toll wenn diese wer durchschauen kann, da ich nicht so gut bin in Englisch!
Bin leider nicht früher dazugekommen auf Grund anderer schulischen Prüfungen usw...

Bye : )

PimP-Supastar-PlaYa · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 18.11.2006 Beiträge: 108

Kann mal jmd durchlesen?

“Lamb to the slaughter“
I.Summary
The short story “Lamb to the slaughter“ written by Roald Dahl tells the stories of a policeman who is fall in love with alcohol, called “Patrick Maloney”, a sweet housewife which becomes a carefully plotted murder, called “Mary Maloney” and an unknowing detective police. “Mary Maloney” is a thoughtful and perfect housewife and furthermore pregnant from her husband “Patrick Maloney”. One day as Patrick drinks after work many whiskey he confess to leave her wife because of another woman, Mary insistence on a common dinner. Meanwhile Patrick gets clobbered over the head with a frozen leg of lamb from his wife. Fallowing she puts the leg of lamb into the oven. Now she procures an alibi, she leaves the house for shopping, arranges an housebreaking and calls the police. After the detective police finish their job with securing of evidence and examinations, Mary invites them to eat her tasty leg of lamb. While the detective police eat the leg of lamb and think about what could be the murder weapon, Mary reacts with a dirty laugh.

III. Newspaper Report
DETECTIVE POLICE WITHOUT ANY TRACES
SOMEWHERE IN THE USA. In the murder case of Patrick Maloney the detective police mark time. The murder happened last Wednesday about 8.00 PM. Patrick Maloney left behind one unborn child and his wife. Also she could not gave any important information to the murder case. That’s way also now the F.B.I. is interstratified . The autopsy got the result that Patrick Maloney was slay by a stack of hard metal, maybe a big spanner or a tube. Now is your aid in demand! The detective police and the F.B.I. are searching for witnesses. The guerdon for the murderer average 50,000 $.

d.e.m.p. · Senior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 10.04.2007 Beiträge: 1034

@PimP-Supastar-PlaYa:

Deine Anfrage ist schon ein bisschen älter, brauchst du noch Hilfe?
(Allgemein brauchst du die ganz sicher, denn dein Englisch ist offen gesagt eine Katastrophe Shocked

, nimms mir nicht übel...)

Ansonsten setz ich mich hier jetzt nicht dran, ist zuviel Arbeit. Teilweise kann man nur schwer erahnen, was du überhaupt sagen wolltest. Neutral

anfaenger_ · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 27.08.2006 Beiträge: 160

ein satz möcht nur wissen ob der so okay is

The question I want to answer is wether immigration of foreign people (could) have a positive especially a revitalizing effect.

Zwanglos · Verfasst am: 24 Apr 2007 - 22:43:03 Titel: Re: ein satz bitte bitte

!abi_07! · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 29.03.2007 Beiträge: 177

hat sich erledigt

Twain · Verfasst am: 26 Apr 2007 - 14:44:45 Titel:

Na zu allererst würde ich "The American Dream sagen.
_________________
Polly will einen Cracker.

reggaekati · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 09.02.2006 Beiträge: 239

Heeey guys!

Soo – ich denk/hoff, dass ich jetzt im richtigen Bereich bin Wink

Hätte eine riesen Bitte an euch - ich weiß, dass es mühsam sein muss und alles wenn jeder jedes mal sagt - 'könnt ihr schauen ob ich eh alles richtig geschrieben habe, etc.' - aber ich bin schon leicht am verzweifeln.

Folgendes: Nächste Woche Donnerstag (21.06.) fahre ich mit der Schule nach Oxford und wir sollten einen Fragebogen anlegen um Schulen zu befragen. Nur unser ach so toller Prof. hat beschlossen diese Fragebogen nicht zu korregieren und ich bin total sicher, dass ich etliche Fehler drin habe. Ich stell die Fragen mal hier rein. Wäre wirklich ganz lieb wenn sich wer mal durchquälen würde Very Happy

(sollte eigentlich eh einfaches Englisch sein, aber ich habs mehr mit dem Small Talk..)

o When do children start school in England?
o What are the different school types here?
o Is it possible to revise a class if you failed?
o What is your opinion?
o How long takes a lesson?
o And how long takes a break?
o Are here more private or state schools?
o Do you have to wear a school uniform at this school?
o And what do you think about them?
o What is the duty foreign language here?
o What are the optional subjects which you offer?
o Is it allowed to smoke at the school yard?
o Which kinds of vending machines do you have at school?
o Is here a canteen in school where the pupils are able to lunch out?
o Does the school organize project weeks like ours?
o Or are here some other school events?
o If yes, what kind of events?
o Are here boarding schools for children in Oxford?
o Does your school put exchange pupils up?
o Have the pupils to stay in after school should they do something bad?
o Is it in each school so that you divide the pupils into groups by performance?
o How long does vacation time takes time all in all?
o Are here some rules for the free periods or can they do what they want?
o Are here rather general schools or schools which emphasis more on sport, music or on business?

Schon mal jetzt dankeschön Wink

_________________
"All my life I've been looking at a world hating evil more than loving good."
Mahatma Gandhi & Martin Luther King showed how it could work..

d.e.m.p. · Senior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 10.04.2007 Beiträge: 1034

o Is it possible to rerun a certain class level if you failed?
o What is your opinion? (on what?)
o How long does a lesson take?
o Are there more private or state schools?

o What is the obligatory(?) foreign language here?
o What are the optional subjects you are offering?
o Is it allowed to smoke on the school yard?

o Is there a canteen in school where the pupils are able to have lunch?

o Are there any other school events?
o If yes, what kinds of events?
o Are there boarding schools for children in Oxford?

o Do the pupils have to stay after school in case they did something bad?
o Is it so that in each school you divide the pupils into groups by performance? (hä?)
o How long is your vacation time all in all?
o Are there any rules concerning the free periods or are the pupils allowed to do what they want?
o Are there rather general schools or schools which focus more on sport, music or on business?

fairweather · Junior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 08.06.2007 Beiträge: 36

d.e.m.p. · Senior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 10.04.2007 Beiträge: 1034

never mind Laughing

reggaekati · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 09.02.2006 Beiträge: 239

Heeey!

Leute ihr seit der Hammer! riesengroßes Dankeschön an euch beide Wink

Also nochmal danke, danke, danke für die unglaublich schnelle Antwort!

Keep going,
Kati Very Happy

_________________
"All my life I've been looking at a world hating evil more than loving good."
Mahatma Gandhi & Martin Luther King showed how it could work..

Zwanglos · Verfasst am: 16 Jun 2007 - 14:21:42 Titel:

Is there a canteen in the school ... ?

canteen:

reggaekati · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 09.02.2006 Beiträge: 239

Heeey ya

und gleich nochmal dankeschön Wink

wusste gar nicht dass "canteen" eher im "militärischen Bereich" benutzt wird..

Naguut, auf jeden Fall riesen Dank an alle hier! Das Forum (und die Leute natürlich Wink

) sind der Hammer!

Love, Kati
_________________
"All my life I've been looking at a world hating evil more than loving good."
Mahatma Gandhi & Martin Luther King showed how it could work..

Zwanglos · Verfasst am: 16 Jun 2007 - 14:55:18 Titel:

off topic: Ich bin neugierig, worauf die Phrase "der Hammer" basiert ist?

If it's M.C. Hammer, I might just die laughing.
_________________
So on and so fifth...

reggaekati · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 09.02.2006 Beiträge: 239

hm* eigentlich eine total interessante Frage.. nur habe ich keine passende Antwort dazu ;(

und anscheinend ist das Net genauso ratlos wie ich, denn gefunden hätt ich jetzt nicht gerade was..

rofl - MC Hammer *U Can't Touch This* - hoffentlich stammt die Redewendung nicht von ihm..

Aber interessante Frage.. mal fragen, ob mein Prof. da mehr weiß..

Ciao, Kati
_________________
"All my life I've been looking at a world hating evil more than loving good."
Mahatma Gandhi & Martin Luther King showed how it could work..

weaver · Senior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 03.03.2006 Beiträge: 2472

Zwanglos · Verfasst am: 19 Jun 2007 - 00:32:55 Titel:

der weaver ist zurück!

Ich hab' dich für tot gehalten. Oder schlimmer wär's, wenn du von diesen Foren gelangweilt war Razz

I've honestly missed you telling everyone to read Stephen and the Sheiks.

xSabix · Verfasst am: 20 Jun 2007 - 19:31:56 Titel:

Brauch dringend eure Hilfe. Morgen (!) haben wir eine Gruppenpräsentation und ich habe mal schnell den Text abgetippt und wollte ihn nochmal von euch korriegieren lassen, wenn nötig.
------

Our topic is “The role of crime and punishment in The story of Joe Brown” and we think you all know they definitely have an important role in the book because these terms are directly engaged to main character Joe Brown’s life. Normally it’s like a ping-pong match. You commit a crime and if you get caught you get the punishment. (that’s just a hint at our teacher’s favorite statement “conversation is like a ping pong match. I give you ping and you give me pong, it’s not like you give your neighbor the pong!”)

One example for crime and punishment is Joe’s murder on his best friend Sean Mulberry. Joe used to live as/be James Mulberry at that time and he went with Sean and other friends to a pub. At closing time they were all drunk and Sean and he began to fight. James lost control and witnesses said he had killed Sean this night. James himself doesn’t remember anything about the fight. He had a total black out. The court sent him to prison for five years by judging him guilty.
This is a typical crime and punishment situation – in this case the crime is the murder and the conclusion of the court to send him to prison is the punishment.

Getting out of prison James wants to start a completely new life with a new identity as Joe Brown. But then he became Julia Ryan’s lodger and he thought they could possibly be more than just friends. But at the end he realizes that Julia had used him for her own crime talking of killing her criminal husband George Ryan.

Julia set a room to rent add on the notice board of the Spar she knew Joe used to buy his newspapers every morning. He appeared on her doorstep like she had thought and became her lodger. Then on Christmas there were those two men paying her a visit. She acted like an innocent woman being threatened by them. They actually were friends of hers as it turns out at the end.
George Ryan came home on Christmas Day’s afternoon. By this time Julia had already set Joe Brown up by presenting him with a jumper pretty similar to one she had given to George a few Christmases before. This and the fact she knew George well enough made her plan fool-proofed. At dinner George provoked Joe by arguing with Julia until Joe eventually lost control of himself again. They began to fight and it ended with George’s death.

That is what Julia wanted and therefore it’s kind of her crime although Joe was the one killing her husband. But you also have to see that Julia had made up her plan with the aim George being dead. She made her daughter Angie spy on Joe long before he became their lodger, she acted like I said before like an innocent woman and actually prepared the bloody Christmas on her own. This is her own personal crime and with Joe realizing all her lies and acting she’ll get her punishment which we want to read to you.

-->Excerpt of the book, blab la <--

So crime and punishment are one of the key words in the story of Joe Brown. From the very beginning of the story to the end it’s kind of all about crime and punishment.

-----
I really didn't feel like doing this boring paper (it was a very boring book) so I just quit it and let it be like this...do you think that's okay?? It's that short on purpose because it should be a 5-minute presentation
_________________
Always shoot for the moon - if you miss you're still among the stars!

fairweather · Junior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 08.06.2007 Beiträge: 36

Our topic is “The role of crime and punishment in The story of Joe Brown” and we think you all know they definitely have an important role in the book because these terms are directly related to main character Joe Brown’s life. Every day life is like a ping-pong match. You commit a crime and if you get caught you get punished (that’s just a hint at our teacher’s favorite statement “conversation is like a ping pong match. I give you ping and you give me pong, it’s not like you give your neighbor the pong!”)

One example of crime and punishment is the killing of Joe's best friend, Sean Mulberry. One evening, when Joe was living under the name of James Mulberry ( James, Sean, ?? - I'm a bit confused here... ) went to the pub with some other friends. At closing time they were all drunk and Sean and James/Joe began to fight. James ( Joe ) lost control and witnesses said he -- killed Sean that night. James himself didn't remember anything about the fight. He had a total black out. The court found him guilty and he was sent to prison for five years.

This is a typical crime and punishment situation – Homicide is a criminal offence, and a prison sentance is the punishment.

When he was released from prison James wanted to start a completely new life, taking on a new identity as Joe Brown. Soon afterwards, he bacame Julia's lodger, and he even thought he might become more than just friends with this woman.However, in the end he realizes that Julia was using him in order to commit her own crime, - the murder of her villainous husband, George Ryan.

Julia advertised a room to rent at the Spar where she knew Joe used to buy his newspapers every morning. Just as she had imagined, he appeared on her doorstep and became her lodger. Then at Christmas, two men paid her a visit. She acted like she was an innocent woman being threatened-- . In fact, it turns out in the end that these men were Julia's friends.
George Ryan came home on Christmas Day- . By this time Julia had already set Joe Brown up by presenting him with a sweater -- similar to one she had given to George a few Christmasses before. This, as well as the fact she knew George well enough made her plan fool-proof--. During dinner George provoked Joe by arguing with Julia until Joe eventually lost control of himself again. They began to fight and it ended with George’s death.

That is what Julia wanted and therefore it can be considered to be a crime although Joe was the one killing her husband. But you also have to see that Julia had planned Geoge's death, and had manipulated Joe. She made her daughter Angie spy on Joe long before he became their lodger, acted like an innocent womanand decided to go ahead with her bloody plan. This is her own personal crime This was Julia's crime. We would like to read the following passage: Joe knows he has been manipulated. Julia will get the punishment she deserves. ( Not sure about this last part... not very clear )

-->Excerpt of the book, blab la <--

-- Crime and punishment are -- key words in the story of Joe Brown.--- ( Last sentence is repetitive and unecessary. You're saying the same thing twice )

Hope this helps !

xSabix · Verfasst am: 20 Jun 2007 - 20:44:02 Titel:

woah, thank God i posted this before Mr. Green

thanks^^
but like i said i was so bored xD
so...what about the perfect ending? i'm clueless -.-
just to make it clear: 'joe' is james's new identity.

and now I'm confused Surprised

fairweather · Junior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 08.06.2007 Beiträge: 36

1. Your book is wrong. Christ + Mass ( = church service ). Plural is with double ss.

2. Sweater is less colloquial, and "jumper" is very British. But if book uses "jumper" that's fine.

3. I think you already used the word "crime" in the same sentence, - so I used villainous to avoid repetition. The meaning is the same.

Wink

xSabix · Verfasst am: 21 Jun 2007 - 16:42:25 Titel:

this book is so weird. i just found another mistake... Shocked

Thank you, fairweather Smile

_________________
Always shoot for the moon - if you miss you're still among the stars!

schmecky5 · Verfasst am: 23 Jun 2007 - 23:17:29 Titel: text

Hi kann mal jmd schauen ob hier noch Fehler drin sind, und vielleich noch was zum Ausdruck sagen, danke:

My hometown is placed nearby Magdeburg , that is approximately
120 km far away from the capital Berlin .The cityshape is affected by a lot of old people. The young inhabitats have migrated to the western staates , because the living conditions there are much more better.To go in cinema, to go shopping or easily to relax in a exiting disco you have to go to a bigger city .Athough this town is a boring place, it offer´s me enough possibilities to live out my freetime activities. So I like doing sports such as volley ball, tenis and bodybuilding . Further I am interested in all technolgy-related things and in politics and history .

Zwanglos · Verfasst am: 24 Jun 2007 - 19:10:48 Titel: Re: text

TyrO · Senior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 14.05.2007 Beiträge: 3995

The article of the (sun) has big eye-catching headlines with colourful capital letters and most of the page is filled with pictures. Whereas the article in (the times) has smaller headlines, only one colour and there are only small photos showing the facts. Such big photos like in the (sun) arouse the attention of the readership. The page of the (times) is clearer, but it’s very boring. But the articles in the (times) are much longer than the articles in the (sun). Here you can also see that the (sun) only show the shocking, for most of the readership interesting, facts by using emotive and subjective language, whereas the (times) inform the people objectively with the most important news in a very factual way.
So you can see that the (sun) is typical example for an tabloid, whereas the (times) is a good example for an high quality newspaper.

Zwanglos · Verfasst am: 03 Jul 2007 - 22:54:30 Titel:

@ TyrO: Go check your other thread
_________________
So on and so fifth...

SometimesStrange · Newbie Anmeldungsdatum: 11.10.2006 Beiträge: 7

hallo
ich rauche mal hilfe. und zwar gehe ich für travel&work nach Du und brauche ein kurzes schreiben, möchte darin aber keine fehler haben, da es in so etwas wie eine jobbörse reingestellt wird.
Daher bitte ich euch es zu klesen und mich auf fehler aufmerksam zu machen und das bitte schnell.
Gruß

Hello:)
My name is ... and I am a twenty years old girl from Cologne, Germany. This year I graduated my high school diploma (Abitur) and now I want to get to know a new culture and country.
I’m a open-minded, flexible girl, who wants to learn new workings and broaden my skills.
I elect for farm&travel, because I think that I can have the nearest contact with the Australian and their culture, if I can live near them, or in their families.
By travelling from farm to farm I can see and discover the great country I have read that much about.
I will be the same ambitious in the household like on the paddock. Nevertheless I prefer the job with around the horse, because I was some weeks a carer on a small pony-and holiday farmyard and like it very much.
I'm glad and curious about it.

lamiastella · Junior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 25.06.2007 Beiträge: 46 Wohnort: Würzburg

geneve07 · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 28.10.2006 Beiträge: 160

Hallo

wie könnte man diesen Satz besser ausdrücken?

In this case we would (zurückkommen) to our agreement that the goods are moved to Great Britain on your costs.

Vielen Dank

Dweorg · Full Member Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2007 Beiträge: 198

MiLLaChiLLa · Verfasst am: 02 Sep 2007 - 20:39:24 Titel:

Hallo Leute wollte ma fragen ob jemand so freundlich sein könnte und meinen Text nach Fehlern berichtigen würden.

Ihr würdet mir echt damit helfen, weil mein Englisch sehr sehr schlecht ist und ich brauche einen einigermassen vernünftigen Text!!

Also dankeschööööööööööööön!!!

Earlier was the frontier a borderline between the wilderness and the civilization. The americans were obsessed with space, because space means freedom. It also means hope and more chances for a better life, there were still no rules or laws you could live on your own. First there were the pioneers, than the small farmers and ranchers till the third big wave of groups came and took permanent possession of the land. Everywhere small towns sprang up and slowely the states of the USA took shape.
Die gerade Linie kommt nach Amerika. The west colony will be dimension and define after a strict schema. The streets were all be beuild in a directly line, es soll Regelmäßigkeit und Ordnung herrschen, dabei wird keine Rücksicht auf Berge und Täler genommen und diese verschwinden langsam in den Hitergrund. The dreams of the citizen was that everything should continue in a directly way.The traditional frontier disappers more and more, where before were fully occupied countrys are today just any wrecks the so called ghost towns. But there is still one thing that doesn't changed, the americans need their own space, where they feel secured and guarded. Earlier this spaces were bis famrs today this is just an own house, that they account as there own and personally space. The frontier was used as a symbol or a topic for events like for example in Las Vegas the casinos.
Today the frontier gets more and more in oblivion and unimportance. There is not much of a difference , the border isn't there anymore. You could say the todays frontier decrees in the outer space.
_________________
Help! I need somebody...

Help! Yeah just anybody...

Uuuhhhhh....

PatrickHH · Senior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 25.01.2007 Beiträge: 1571 Wohnort: Norderstedt

I think this is a complex question. First of all, i think to have a baby is a human right. But it can be restrained like other human rights. To have a baby is a big charge. A human is not only a pet or a car. When you are unhappy with your purchase, you can put your pet into a home for animals or sell your car at ebay. But you can't easy put a human away. At the worst you must care about your child for twenty-five years. Untill your child earn have a job.

The complete education is very cost-intensive. You don't bye only food and clothers, you have to pay for the learning too. You must have the ability to educate your child, that he get a job in future. It must not happen, that he will became a welfare case. That is only possible, when you aren't a welfare case too. In study it's demonstrated, that the children of under class people will be in the under class in future too. That's, why i think, that not all people are allowd to have a baby. First, when you are able to feed yourself and your family, then you can have a baby.
_________________
Alles Banane!

d.e.m.p. · Senior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 10.04.2007 Beiträge: 1034

PatrickHH · Verfasst am: 10 Sep 2007 - 22:27:09 Titel:

hey, der letzte satz ist echt blöd, aber mir fällt nicht ein wie ich ihn besser formulieren soll. also auf deutsch würde er heißen:

Erst wenn du dich und deine familie durchbringen kannst, darfst du auch kinder kriegen. oder, erst wenn du in der lage bist dich und deine familie zu ernähren, darfst du kinder kriegen.

und warum darf ich statt That is nicht that's einsetzen?

Ja, mein englisch ist wirklich kaka pfui Wink

_________________
Alles Banane!

d.e.m.p. · Senior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 10.04.2007 Beiträge: 1034

You have to be able to feed a family in the first place, then you might be permitted to get a baby.

"that's" is im offiziellen Schriftverkehr (sprich Hausaufgaben Wink

) nicht angebracht. btw: 'ne Übung zu "must"-Formen, stimmt's?

PatrickHH · Verfasst am: 10 Sep 2007 - 23:04:32 Titel:

MiLLaChiLLa · Verfasst am: 11 Sep 2007 - 16:02:23 Titel: Please help me!

Hallo Leute brauch UNBEDINGT eure Hilfe,
muss morgen meine Hausaufgaben vorlesen und zwar eine Analyse der Rede von Jimmy Carter,also ich habs schon gemacht nur wahrschienlich mit nem Haufen Fehler,also wäre ich euch dankbar wenn ihr die bisschen koriegieren könntet!!
Dankeschön!!! Razz

IN his speech Jimmy Carter creates an ensouraging atmosphere. The overall tone of his words is very conclusive.
First of all you can that from the speaker's choice of words, e.g. '...' or '..'.
Another rhetorical device to emphasize Carter's intention to encourange his audience, is the use of an increase, as you can find in lines 13 to 15 '...'. In line 12 to 13 he makes an allusion, that everything could be better, we just have to want it '...'.
Also singnificand is, that he's using the words 'our' and 'we' for example in line 1,12 or 13, with this choice of words he adresses the people in a personal way and talks about a community in which he is also a memeber.
All in all, you can say that Jimmy Carter uses some stylistic devices to encourage his audience to do anything and to act. That's the only way you can change something.

Also '...' sind Zitate die ich jez nich ausgeschrieben habe,denke ma sind hierbei nicht so wichtig!
Also vielen Danke wenn jemand helfen kann!!!

GLG Mila
_________________
Help! I need somebody...

Help! Yeah just anybody...

Uuuhhhhh....

schnegge1990 · Verfasst am: 12 Sep 2007 - 16:35:37 Titel:

Hier sind bestimmt auch noch ein Haufen Fehler drinne, vll könntet ihr auch mal nach dem Aufbau schauen, denn es soll eine Characteristik sein Wink

Henry Price, called Makola, is a Sierra Leone nigger. He’s married to a very large and very noisy negress from Luanda an they’ve three children. The Family lives together in a hut besides the storehouse. His job is to look after the storehouse and he is responsible for the acquisition and storage of ivory and is
in charge of the ten black men working (not very effectively) at the post.
He’s a quiet and diligent worker. Makola is busy with his family and he praises the value of the ivory. Makola has a dual identity, on the one hand his African identity, because he believes in Evil Spirits and in the eyes of the natives down the river he’s taciturn and impenetrable.
On the other hand there’s his business-identity, because he’s a perfect imperial agent and he speaks several languages, like French, English and the natives’ languages. He understands book keeping and writes a beautiful hand. He’s intellectually and emotionally superior to Kayerts and Carlier and he despise them, because he’s aware of their incompetence and stupidity.
The narrator calls Makola a “civilized nigger” and he associate African Culture with primitive savagery and superstition, so in his eyes even Makolas family life seems to have the quality of African civilisation.
Makola is merciless and he’s willing to trade the ten black men as slaves, only to get ivory. His behaviour at this moment is very immoral devious, he’s a real felon and villain.
_________________

d.e.m.p. · Senior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 10.04.2007 Beiträge: 1034

schnegge1990 · Verfasst am: 12 Sep 2007 - 16:59:22 Titel:

Ja ich kann das nicht Sad

Habe mich total dumm verwählt und komme mit meinem Englisch-LK nicht zurecht. Nigger steht ebenfalls im Text und meine Lehrerin sagt das auch^^
Was kann ich denn machen damit das flüssig wird? Und sonst sind da grammatikalisch keine Fehler drin?
_________________

phiL89 · Junior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 07.03.2007 Beiträge: 37

bitte korrigieren:-)

Robert Cormier was born in January 1925 and dies in November 2000. He spend all his life in Leominster, a little town in Massachusetts. He starts writing at school where he has been praised for his poetry. At the age of nineteen he had his first short story published when a college teacher, sent one of his stories to a national magazine without his knowledge. His first novel for teenagers, The Chocolate war, had published in the UK in 1975. He quickly established a reputation as a brilliant writer and gains a lot of awards. Robert Cormier had also been a journalist for more than 30 years. He had a wife, 3 daughters and a son.

The novel After the First Death was published in 1992.

The novel deals with a terrorist group that has already committed a number of terrorism acts in the USA. In the middle of the novel stands a fall of kidnapping: Four terrorists,among them the expert Artkin and his student Miro. The terrorists hijack a summer camp bus and constrain the bus driver called Kate to stop the bus on an abandoned old railway bridge. Kate follows the given orders but tries to find some way to escape.
Miro’s job was to kill the bus driver. This should be his first kill.
Artkin gives the entire children brown cakes with dope in it, which makes the children sleepy and quiet. One child was allergic to the drug and dies. Artkin throw him from the bridge, like a warning for the police. In meantime, Artkin made requirements for Inner Delta, a secret FBI location. Artkin wanted them to release fifteen political prisoners. He wanted 10 million dollars and he wanted information about an American secret security program.
When Antibbe, another terrorist had accidentally been shot in his chest, Artkin killed Raymond. Raymond has become a friend from Kate, because he was the strongest of all the children and hasn’t taken the brown cake with dope. Raymond could be helping with the escape but that was too late now.
When the hijackers hear the bad news that their leader has been captured by the agents of Inner Delta Artkin asks for evidence because he doesn’t trust the agents. Someone who isn’t a police officer should bring Artkin evidence.
The general of Inner Delta called Rufus decides to send his own son Ben. Ben arrives at the bus and has to take off all his clothes. The hijackers check if Ben doesn’t have any weapons with him. Ben told Artkin everything about the Inner Delta after a couple of kicks. However, Ben told Artkin not the whole truth so he has said that Inner Delta attacks the hijackers at nine thirty but the real time of point is eight o’clock.
During the attack of Inner Delta Ben has been shot in his chest.
The hijackers Stroll and Artkin has been killed. Miro and Kate escaped into the wood. Kate tried to intimidate Miro to make Miro believe Artkin was his real Father. Miro gets upset and kills Kate. Then he walks to the road takes the car of a killed man and drives away to start a new life.
Ben hasn't be killed by the bullet in his chest, he was just in a coma. When he came out of the coma, he starts writing a book about the happenings that day at the bridge. With this part the novel starts.

Zwanglos · Verfasst am: 07 Jun 2009 - 19:33:50 Titel:

phiL89 · Junior Member Anmeldungsdatum: 07.03.2007 Beiträge: 37

danke zwanglos!