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Sammelthread für Korrekturen
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BeitragVerfasst am: 25 Dez 2009 - 19:01:08    Titel:

hallo, kann mir jemand bitte diesen selbsgeschriebenen text korrigieren.

My name is Lucy Dreamer. I work as a housekeeper in a little toys shop in Vancouver.
Last week, i read an ad in a newspaper. A company search a housekeeper who could work for them. I see my chance and send this firma an application. Two days later, the employer call me to come for an interview. In this moment I was very happy. I knew also that I should be well prepared because I'm a shy person. I thought of questions which the employer maybe could ask me.
At the day on which I have the interview , I made sure that i was well dressed. I also drove of earlier because I don't want to be late. In the interview, in my opinion, I did it well. The employer asked me a lot of questions. Furthermore he told me a lot of the job. I found it very interesting. Finally he said to me that he would write me a letter if he enject me or not.
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BeitragVerfasst am: 31 Jan 2010 - 15:08:51    Titel: Letter to the Government

Hallo Leute !


This is a letter to the Indian Government. Please check commata (ich werd’s nie lernen wo die hinkommen -.- ) and choice of words.
Nehme Verbesserungsvorschläge gerne an.
Ich bin eine besorgte Mutter eines Mädchens in der fünften Klasse in Indien:


Dear Government

I am writing you this letter because of my daughter.
She is the only one I’ve got left on this world and she is the most important person in my life. I only want the best for her (wo kommt hier das only am besten hin? )
and I am proud that?/ because? I can afford her education (?) (schulausbildung)
even though I am divorced and work hard for little money.
But I don’t want to pay the teachers for (doing?) nothing- my daughter can hardly read or write, despite all her efforts. She isn’t even noticed in class, her teachers ignore and discriminate her just as they treat every other girl.
I reckon at least one of you has got a daughter. Do you love her? Or do you want your own flesh and blood be treated like this? / Oder: Or do you want her to be treated like this - your own flesh and blood. (welche version gefällt euch besser? )
Each and everyone of you has been a child, too. You might never forget that!
Children have got needs! They need someone who listens to them, they need friends and freedom, they don’t need to work but to play. Why are the playgrounds only for boys, likewise a girl is nothing but a human being?
What would you do without women?
Have you ever tried to keep house?
Have you ever tried to cook a really good meal?
Have you swaddled your babies?
Or is it your wife who does all these things? Who would wash your clothes if she wasn’t there?
Have you ever allowed your wives to work? Or are you afraid she’ll perform it better than you?
You’re in the position to change something.
You can decide, whether India will remain an antiquated country or a modern, human one, a country which considers human rights. I’m begging you: start fighting injustice. Do it for your children, because they are India’s future.
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BeitragVerfasst am: 07 Feb 2010 - 17:58:35    Titel:

hallo und zwar muss ich ein text über irgendein mechanismus schreiben ... mein englisch ist leider sehr lecht .. man kann sagen das ich 2 jahre kein englisch hatte.. ich habe jetzt bisschen was geschrieben könnt ihr mich bitte verbessern .. und auch sagen wo ich meine schwächen habe .. damit ich iwas machen kann .. mit meinen lehrern hatte ich auch schon ein gespräch aber diese konnten mir iwie nicht weiterhelfen ..

hier ist mein text

Universal Application

Transformers (lat.: transformare; to convert) are needed, in order to transform tensions and rivers up or down.

Structure

A transformer consists of two coils, which can be connected with an iron core.
The coils are called field coil and induction coil.
Each river is surrounded by a magnetic field. Each change of a magnetic field induces a river.
The iron core bundles the magnetic field.
The transformer would function also without iron core, however the transmission would be substantially worse.
Between the coils of a transformer exists no leading connection.

Function

If the field coil is attached to an alternating voltage, then alternating current flows by its turns.
Around these coil develops a magnetic field.
The common iron core strengthens the magnetic field of the field coil and transfers it to the induction coil.
In the induction coil is induced an alternating voltage by the changes of magnetic field.
The electricity is transferred by electromagnetic induction.

Electromagnetic induction

Under electromagnetic induction (short: Induction) one understands a developing of an electrical tension along a conducting circuit by the change of the magnetic river.

Application

Transformers are used during the energy transmission between producer (power station) and consumer: In order economically too transferred the energy, the line losses must be kept low. The electric current is responsible for these losses. Therefore it is meaningful to transfer the energy with low amperages and higher tensions over longer distances. To "place of consumption " the tension is again stepped down.

High-transform of tensions

Transformer in the power station
The tension produced by the power station generator has an order of magnitude of approx. 20kV. For the supply of the long-distance line net however 220kV or 380kV are needed. For this serve large transformers, which are often developed in the free one. The warmth developing with the transformation procedure must be dissipated partially by a coolant (e.g. oil).

Step down of tensions

Transformer for the radio
Most radios need DC voltage in the order of magnitude of 6V to 12V to the enterprise. Usually a current supply by batteries or the net stands to the selection with these radios. For stepping down the net alternating voltage an inserted transformer or an external transformer is used.
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BeitragVerfasst am: 21 Feb 2010 - 11:36:38    Titel:

Babyyy111 hat folgendes geschrieben:


Universal Application

Transformers (lat.: transformare; to convert) are needed, in order to transform voltage and current (Deine Begriffe meinen eine andere Spannung bzw. einen anderen Strom Wink ).

Structure

A transformer consists of two coils, which can be connected with an iron core.
The coils are called field coil and induction coil.
Each magnetic flux is surrounded by a magnetic field. Each change of a magnetic field induces a magnetic flux.
The iron core bundles the magnetic field.
The transformer functions (würde hier kein Conditional verwenden, da die Funktionalität nicht an eine Bedingung geknüft ist, sondern ein fortwährender Zustand ist; deine Lösung wäre aber wohl auch richtig) also without the iron core, however the transmission would be substantially decreased.
Between the coils of a transformer, there is only a non-conducting connection.

Function

If the field coil is attached to an alternating voltage, then alternating current will flow (if-clause: present -> main clause: will future) by its turns. (Was möchtest du damit genau sagen?)

Around this coil, a magnetic field occurs.
The [common] iron core strengthens the magnetic field of the field coil and transfers it to the induction coil.

In the induction coil, an alternating voltage is being induced, caused by changes of the magnetic field

The current is transferred by electromagnetic induction.

Electromagnetic induction

Electromagnetic Induction (in the following called 'Induction') is the developing of an electrical voltage within a conducting circuit, caused by the change of the magnetic flux

Application

Transformers are used during the energy transmission between producer (power station) and consumer: In order to transfer energy in an economical way, line losses must be kept low. The electric current is responsible for these losses. Therefore it is meaningful to transfer the energy with low amperages and higher voltages over longer distances. At the place of consumption, the voltage will be transformed down once more.

High-transform of voltages

Transformer in the power station
The voltage produced by the power station generator has a magnitude (magnitude heißt bereits Größenordnung Wink ) of approx. 20kV. However, to supply long-distance mains 220kV or 380kV are needed.

This is donw by large transformers, operating outside.
The warmth developing due to transformation procedure must be dissipated partially by a coolant (e.g. oil).

Step down of voltage

Transformer for the radio
Most radios need DC voltage in the magnitude of 6V to 12V to the enterprise. Usually a current supply by batteries or the net stands to the selection with these radios. For stepping down the net alternating voltage an inserted transformer or an external transformer is used. (Was möchtest du auf Deutsch mit den letzten beiden Sätzen ausdrücken?)


LG
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BeitragVerfasst am: 03 März 2010 - 20:09:21    Titel: summary :D

hallo ich habe hier eine summary geschrieben und ich wollte um verbesserungsvorschläge bitten, wenn es welche gibt Smile


The text "Mr Mumsford", written by Larry French is about a janitor named Ralph Mumsford who is misunderstood.

The text begins with the fact that the janitor now has been working for this school for 27 years and is still being called by his nickname Bibs. He wore a pair of old bib overalls on his first day at school and thus earned the nickname, which he detests. One day the janitor gets really mad and decides to kill the school principal because he blames him for the reason that nobody knows his real name. Mr Mumsford picks up a baseball bat and hides in a space between two lockers. A little bit later Mr Mumsford steps out of his hideout and faces the school principal with the baseball bat in his hands. The janitor says that he has come to kill the school principal. The school principal tries to make the whole situation more comfortable an pleasant by talking to the janitor in a smooth way. After a serious and deep conversation both of them come to the conclusion that from now on the janitor will be called by his real name Mr Mumsford.


Ich bin für jede einzelne Hilfe dankbar
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BeitragVerfasst am: 11 Apr 2010 - 18:16:36    Titel: essay

hi, hab heute ma einen essay geschrieben...bin mir aber bei der grammatik bzw. bei der Rechtschreibung net so sicher...dürften aber net so viel fehler drin sein. lg danke schon ma im vorraus


Native Americans

In the following text I would like to give some information about Native Americans. They are the inhabitants of the todays USA. The first people who came to America crossed the Bering Strait from Asia on foot or by boat more then 15000 years ago. About 500 years ago 10 million people of different tribes and cultures lived in North America. When the Spains arrived in America, the thought they were in India, so they called the native people of America “Indians”. Today we call them Native Americans or by their tribal names like Navajo or Sioux. There is a large number of district tribes, states and ethnic groups, many of them survived as intact political member of the society. Also in Alaska and the island state of Hawaii we can find Native Americans. They all speak English and have different religious, for example: Native American Church or Protestant. About 4 million Natives are registrated in the states.
Indians had traditions, which were very interesting, for example some Indian tribes has hats, which had lots of feathers sticked on. They put lots of different things on their heads. When they fought a war, they had different hats, than when they had a festival. And they wore masks, which looked very dangerous, others looked more funny. Native Americans today have a good relationship with the United States of America because they can be found as members of nations, tribes or band of Native Americans who are independent from the government of the United States.
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BeitragVerfasst am: 23 Apr 2010 - 12:05:10    Titel: huhu

Würde mich sehr freuen wenn jemand den essay nochmal durchschaun kann. Danke schon ma im vorraus. Very Happy
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BeitragVerfasst am: 24 Apr 2010 - 12:09:25    Titel: Re: essay

Susi.K hat folgendes geschrieben:

Native Americans

In the following text I would like to give some information about Native Americans. They are the inhabitants of the todays USA.

The first people who came to America crossed the Bering Strait from Asia on foot or by boat more than 15000 years ago. About 500 years ago, 10 million people of different tribes and cultures lived in North America. When the Spains arrived in America, they thought they were in India, therefore they called the native people of America “Indians”. Today, we call them Native Americans or by their tribal names like Navajo or Sioux. There is a large number of district tribes, states and ethnic groups, many of them survived as intact political member of the society. In Alaska and the island state of Hawaii we can also find Native Americans. They all speak English and have different religious views / faiths, for example "The Native American Church" or "The Lutheran Church" (protestant wäre hier nicht so glücklich gewählt, da der Begriff allgemein als Oberbegriff für alle nichtkatholischen Glaubensrichtungen des Christentums verwendet wird Wink ). About 4 million natives are registrated in the States.

Indians have had some very interesting traditions for example some Indian tribes have hats, which have a lot('lots of' geht zwar auch, ist aber meines Erachtens fast schon zu colloquial; könnte man aber beispielsweise in einem Dialog natürlich verwenden.) of feathers sticked on. They put a lot of different things on their hats. When they fought in a war, they had different hats, than when they had a festival. Furthermore, they wore masks, which looked very dangerous, others looked more cheerful (aufpassen, funny heißt lächerlich Wink ). Today's Native Americans have a good relationship with the United States of America because they can be found as members of nations, tribes or band of Native Americans who are independent from the government of the United States.


LG
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BeitragVerfasst am: 24 Mai 2010 - 16:50:35    Titel: Textkorrektur (Thema: Implantation Technology)

Hi! Könnte mir bitte wer meinen Text, oder einzelne Teile des Textes, sofern er zu lang ist, korrigieren? Das wäre super nett, weil das super wichtig für mich ist! Vielen Dank im Voraus Smile

1. Zusammenfassung
2. Analyse
3. Letter to the Editor

1.

The newspaper-article „When it won´t need a tyranny to deprive us of our freedom“ published in the daily British national paper The Guardian Newspaper on the 21st of February 2006, deals with implantation technology.
First of all Mobiot points out, that he has written the article because of the development of implants equipped with transmitters for security zones.
Next he describles the identification transmitters: They are tiny little, low-priced, secure, solid, they are injected into the upper arm, they need no power source, there are no technical barriers and they can be used in school, tho save the medical history of hospital patients, for workers with clearance by security and in corrupt companies to control the labourer.
Additionally, there is another implantation technology without a maximum range with them detecting victims of kidnapping, injured soldiers or escappes is possible.
According to Monbiot it constitutes a threat that the technology is apparently legitimate and effectively, because the acceptance of this implants is ehhanced. In this way we will not realize the development of implantation technology and this is why we loose our freedom and do not notice that the state, or the bosses have control over us.
The usage is just ostensible voluntary and this is not lawfully anymore. For example applicants for a job have to accept that they get such a chip in the upper-arm implanted.

2.

In the newspaper-arcticle at hand Goerge Monbiot wants to point out that implantation technology could imperceptible lead to the loss of personal freedom.
The headline is printed in large letters and it catches the reader´s eye. Additonally there is a contradiction in the heading (tyranny-freedom) and in the subtitle there are negatively connotated words like “creeping” and “break down all the barriers”, which arouses the reader's curiosity. The opposition “us”/”we” and “the state” fans fear, because the readers could think that their personal freedom could get lost by state control.
First of all Monbiot gives a short introduction and shows, why he has written this article: A company in the U.S.A. has tagged their workers electronically with radio transmitters. On the one hand Monbiot refers to a short article to show that nobody seems to notice that implantation technology can be dangerous. On the other hand the fact that his statements are based on a real happening demonstrates that he is trustworthy and lively. He quotes the company called City-Watcher to back up his statement (cf. ll. 4-5).
Next the author explaines, how these kind of transmitters are built and how they work by giving some examples to prove his point. Furthermore he enumerates predominantly advantages of the RFID-technology to stress the positive aspects of implantation technology. For example the medical history of hospital patients can be saved easily (cf. ll. 13-15) and victims of kidnappings can be detected (cf. l. 20) . To support his examples he quotes again (cf. ll. 15-16).
Then Monbiot puts the whole matter in a nutshell (cf. l. 21) and explaines that he has grave doubts about implantation technology (cf. ll. 21-23), it “become[s] unremarkable” (l. 23). The personification “its purpose will begin to creep” (l. 23-24) cuts right to the chase of the matter. Afterwards he makes insistently clear that he is against this technology. To sum up, here is a turning point, which shows Monbiot´s true, subjectively opinion: Implantation technology should “be greeted with horror” (ll. 22-23). He gives several examples or forecastings to prove his point: Hospitals “will start scanning their unconscious or incoherent patients” (cf. ll. 26-27), insurance companies want vulnerable people to be chipped (cf. ll. 27-2Cool, the armed forces could use RFID-chips to identify injured soldiers (cf. ll. 28-29) and in sweatshops in developing countries overseers could “control their workers to the second” (ll. 31-32). The line of argumentation ends with sarcasm: “The workers will not be forced to have them, any more than they are forced ho have sex with their bosses”(ll. 34-35). With this message he criticises the implantation technology indirectly.
Although Monbiot thinks that the technology is dangerous, he does not appeal to his readers to demonstrate against it. But rather he usus the Future II simple to show that his forecastings are immutable. In addition he uses negations like “will not be forced”(l. 34) or “no dramatic developments”(l. 36) to point out that the threat is creeping. The adjectives and adverbs “gradually” (l. 3Cool, “unremarkable”(l. 23) and “step by voluntary step” (l. 40) have the same function.
The last sentances bear on the heading and underline that there must not be a new government to rob us of our freedom because we are blinded by the positive aspects of the implantation technology. According to Monbiot we give up our freedom voluntary. So his intention could be to bring the unnoticed wide distribution to the reader´s attention. To show that everyone is involved he usus often “we” and “us”.
To sum up, Monbiot lists first the positive aspects of the technology, to show the negative repercussions afterwards. In this way, there accrues a contrast.

3.

Dear Editor,
I have read the article “When it won´t need a tyranny to deprive us of our freedom” and I think that RFID-chips are very impressive. They are tiny, low-priced, secure and solid. Additonally, they need no power source, there are no technical barriers and there are plenty of legitimate usus. So why has no pupil in our school a RFID-chip implanted?
In the beginning of the classes the attendance check lasts about two minutes. This is not a long time. But if you make a projection on a whole day with seven lessons 14 minutes arises. And in a week this are 70 minutes. With RFID-chips the teachers could check the attendance very fast and easily, so that precious time could be saved.
As regards the habits of pupil, like skipping lessons, one may observe that RFID-chips could deter them. If a pupil is for example in the smokers' porch and not in the class-room, the teacher could detect him easily and punish him suitable. As far as minors are concerned, the parents could be informed.
Incidentally, we must not forget the detection outside of school. Pupils could be located at any time and in so doing the personal freedom is limited.
Over and above all these considerations, RFID-chips can be used in hospitals. Patients, doctors, nurses, expensive and cricital insturments and equipment can be tracked in real time. RFID tags can be attached to the ID bracelets of all patients, or just patiens requiring special attention, for example patients with Alzheimer´s disease.
Apart from that the tag can be read at a distance without the knowledge of the individual, it becomes possible to gather sensitive data about an individual without consent.
Monbiot points out that there are no technical barriers and that the RFID-chips can be injected easily. But the medical risks of any implant are infection, pain and keloid formation at the puncture site.
Furthermore, there are quite a range of nonmedical risks. After the implant, many people would say that the chip carrier has become something like a "Star-Treck Borg" and has lost some of his humanity because he is now a hybrid human/machine. Thus, chip carriers have a risk of being social outcasts.
What conclusions can be drawn from all this?
The inescapable conclusion which emerges from what I have said ist that tagging people results in less privacy and this is why I am against this technology. But it is a personal choice whether or not to be fitted with an RFID device.
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BeitragVerfasst am: 30 Mai 2010 - 14:05:19    Titel: Help! ^^

Hallo ^^
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