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More than a father
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Mediane
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Anmeldungsdatum: 14.12.2006
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BeitragVerfasst am: 07 Jan 2007 - 20:01:13    Titel: More than a father

Hallo,

ich habe folgende shortstory geschriebern.

Es ist sehr wichtig, dass ich die Wortordnung und auch die Präpositionen
richtig habe. Würde mich sehr freuen, wenn jemand mal gründlich nachschaut.


More than a father

It was a sunny day when Kay and his father went to the sea. They
throw stones into the blue water and had much fun seeing the
stones jumping above the water. They throw stones as long as
all stones laid in the water and no more stones were in the sand. Father and son went sadly home because the fun had come to an end. But in the night the father
brought a wheelbarrow full of stones to the place where they had been. Next day
they went to the same place and then…When Kay saw all the stones, he was very
happy and embraced his father and said “You’re more than a father, you’re a
good friend, too”.


lg melanie
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BeitragVerfasst am: 07 Jan 2007 - 22:38:40    Titel: Re: More than a father

Mediane hat folgendes geschrieben:
More than a father

It was a sunny day when Kay and his father went to the sea. They
throw stones into the blue water and had much fun seeing the
stones jumping above the water. They throw stones as long as
all of the stones laid in the water and no more stones were in the sand. The father and son went sadly home because the fun had come to an end. But in the night the father
brought a wheelbarrow full of stones to the place where they had been. The next day
they went to the same place and then…When Kay saw all the stones, he was very
happy and embraced his father and said “You’re more than a father, you’re a
good friend, too”.


lg melanie
Mediane
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BeitragVerfasst am: 07 Jan 2007 - 22:56:31    Titel:

Vielen Dank, erstmal!

throw = threw ok, aber weiter….?
vielleicht für much = a lot of?
für as long as = until?
vielleicht went home sadly?

Könntest Du den Text bitte korrigieren. Ich habe ihn
mir noch einmal gründlich durchgelesen, aber hiermit
habe ich quasi alles aus meinem Wissensfundus herausgeholt.
Wäre nett, wenn Du mir die richtige Version sagen könnte.

lg mediane
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BeitragVerfasst am: 07 Jan 2007 - 23:18:31    Titel:

Du hast die meisten Fehler richtig korrigiert.

Zitat:
More than a father

It was a sunny day when Kay and his father went to the sea. They
throw stones into the blue water and had much fun seeing the
stones jumping above the water. They throw stones as long as
all of the stones laid in the water and no more stones were in the sand. The father and son went sadly home because the fun had come to an end. But in the night the father
brought a wheelbarrow full of stones to the place where they had been. The next day
they went to the same place and then…When Kay saw all the stones, he was very
happy and embraced his father and said “You’re more than a father, you’re a
good friend, too”.


More Than a Father

It was a sunny day when Kay and his father went to the sea. They threw stones into the blue water and had a lot of fun watching the stones jump above the water. They threw stones until all of the stones were lying in the water and no more stones were in the sand. The father and son went home sadly because the fun had come to an end. But in the night, the father brought a wheelbarrow filled with stones to the place where they had been earlier. The next day they went to the same place and then ... when Kay saw all of the stones, he was very happy and embraced his father and said "You're more than a father, you're a good friend, too!"



Punkte und Kommas kommen innerhalb der Anführungszeichen.

,,So schreibt man das auf Deutsch".
"This is how we write it in English."
Mediane
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BeitragVerfasst am: 07 Jan 2007 - 23:25:03    Titel:

ZWANGLOS, ein ganz großes Dankeschön.

Du hast mir sehr geholfen. Ich werde weiter an mir
arbeiten, um besser zu werden.

Nochmals vielen, vielen Dank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lg mediane
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