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Könnte da mal bitte jemand drübergucken?
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Quendoline
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BeitragVerfasst am: 20 Okt 2007 - 16:09:06    Titel: Könnte da mal bitte jemand drübergucken?

ich muss in zwei woche meine eurokom in englisch halten und kenn egt niemanden der mir bei meinem text helfen könnte. könnt ihr mal bitte schauen ob ihr (schwerwiegende)fehler findet?
danke!

The Greek Tortoise

Arrangement
- History
- Subspecies
- Anatomy of Greek Tortoises
- Reproduction
- Natural living space
- Animal husbandry
- Protection of species


History:
The first tortoise, called Proganochelys, was already on the earth about 60 million years before the dinosaurs. So they are, together with the crocodiles, the only witnesses from the time of the dinosaurs who are still alive today.

Subspecies:
The Greek Tortoise is one of the three different tortoise species near the Mediterranean Sea. There are two subspecies called Testudo Hermanni Hermanni and Testudo Hermanni Boettgeri. Both of them are normally active during the day. The Greek Tortoise is a reptile who can become about 120 years old and circa 20 cm big.

Anatomy of Greek Tortoises
- The most conspicuous part of tortoise’s body is the shell. It is the place where the tortoise goes in if it is in danger. It is also protecting the inner organs.
Between this parts of the shell are zones that are responsible for the growth.
Tortoises fell vibrations like steps with their shell.

- These scales make the protection complete
- Greek Tortoises like climbing and burrowing, therefore they need their claws. With their feet they’re also feeling temperatures.
- With their nose they’re searching for food and other tortoises. They can smell very good. There is a kind of organ to feel temperatures on their heads, too.
- The ears are here (…) but these animals can’t hear really good. They hear mainly low sounds. The female animals need their ears to hear the male while the time of reproduction.
- Here you can see the eyes. Greek Tortoises see very well! They’re even able to see little objects 10 m away from them in colour.

Tortoises are hematocryal:
Tortoises aren’t able to make their temperature on their own like mammals or birds, but they take it from the environment surrounding them.
Their bodies have to fit on the temperatures outside. After they wake up they need some time to receive the warmth of the sun. If their body has a temperature of 38 °C they are able to digest the food.
Because of this characteristic they oversleep the cold winter. If they live in freedom they bury their selves, if they live in imprisonment the owner have to put his pet in a dark, constantly cold and wet room where the tortoise won’t be disturbed. They normally sleep about 5 months.

Reproduction:
The Greek Tortoise is able to reproduce in an age of 4 or 5 years but their mating season is only in spring.
While the reproduction the male tortoise mount the female and fertilize the eggs. About 6 or 8 weeks later the female animal lay and buries the eggs. After 2 or 3 months the babies hatch out.

Natural living space:
If they live in freedom, they like to be in forests and shady thicket because they have natural enemies like birds of prey and there they’re out of danger. When it is too hot or too cold they burrow themselves.
Greek Tortoises don’t eat meat but grasses and herbs.

Animal husbandry:
If you’ve got a Greek Tortoise as your pet, you need a terrarium with a UV- lamp. The terrarium should be in a temperature of ca. 25 °C.
The tortoises need a hiding place to sleep, a plate of water and stones, roots or other obstacles to climb.
They like to eat different herbs, salads, vegetables and fruits. In the summer they like to be outside, e.g. in a garden.

Protection of species:
The change of the climate and the interference in the living space of tortoises are very dangerous for a lot of species, e.g. for the Greek Tortoises. Another big problem for them are tourists. A lot of people who do a trip to the area where the animals live steal some of them and smuggle it out of the county.
To stop that, the government decided that every Greek Tortoise in Germany needs something like an identity card. In this form is a picture of the bottom and the top of the shell. The bottom is like our fingerprint. On the identity card you can also read who’s the breeder and the owner of the tortoise.
Zwanglos
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BeitragVerfasst am: 20 Okt 2007 - 18:18:21    Titel:

Eigentlich sehr gut, aber wenn es um das Stil geht, würde ich Folgendes so bearbeiten:

History:
The first tortoise, called Proganochelys, was already on the earth about 60 million years before the dinosaurs. So they are, together with the crocodiles, the only living witnesses from the time of the dinosaurs.

Subspecies:
The Greek Tortoise is one of the three different tortoise species that lives near the Mediterranean Sea. There are two subspecies called Testudo Hermanni Hermanni and Testudo Hermanni Boettgeri. Both of them are normally active during the day. The Greek Tortoise is a reptile, which can live to be about 120 years old and and grow to be circa 20 cm big.

>> 'big' is a little vage/ambiguous here. Is he 20 cm long, wide, tall? Is the circumference of his shell 20 cm? Be more specific than just 'big' <<


Anatomy of Greek Tortoises
- The most conspicuous part of a/the tortoise’s body is the shell. It is the place into which the tortoise retreats if it finds itself in any immediate danger. The shell also protects the inner organs.

Between the parts of the shell are zones that are responsible for the growth.
Tortoises can use their shell to feel the vibrations of movement around them, such as steps.

>> Again, 'zones' seems a little vague here, and would do much better with a more scientific term. What exactly are these zones made up? Loose tissue? How do they grow? More details! <<

- The scales of the shell provide complete protection.
- Greek Tortoises like climbing and burrowing, therefore they need their claws. With their feet they’re also feeling temperatures.
- With their nose they’re searching for food and other tortoises. Their sense of smell is very keen. There is also a kind of organ in their heads which can feel temperatures, too.
- The ears are here (…) but these animals can’t hear very well. They hear mainly low sounds.

>> Low in pitch, or low in volume? Please specify! <<

The female animals need their ears to hear the males during the mating season.
- Here you can see the eyes. Greek Tortoises see very well! They’re even able to see little objects 10 m away from them in colour.

Tortoises are hematocryal:

>> Is that a fancy word for 'cold blooded'? <<

Tortoises aren’t able to make their temperature on their own like mammals or birds, but they take it from the environment surrounding them.
Their bodies have to adjust to the temperatures outside. After they wake up they need some time to receive the warmth of the sun. If their body has a temperature of 38 °C they are able to digest food.
Because of this characteristic they hibernate during the cold winter. If they live in the seas they bury themselves in the ocean floor, if they live in captivity the owner has to put his pet in a dark, constantly cold and wet room where the tortoise won’t be disturbed. They normally sleep about 5 months.

Reproduction:
The Greek Tortoise is able to reproduce at the age of 4 or 5 years but their mating season is only in the spring.
In the mating process, the male tortoise mounts the female and fertilizes the eggs. About 6 to 8 weeks later the female tortoise lays and buries the eggs. After 2 or 3 months the babies hatch out.

Natural living space:
If they live in freedom, they like to be in forests and shady thickets because they have natural enemies like birds of prey and there they’re out of danger. When it is too hot or too cold they burrow themselves.
Greek Tortoises don’t eat meat, but grasses and herbs.

>> If you want to be fancy, you can call them 'herbivores', which are plant-eating organisms, as opposed to 'carnivores' which are meat-eating organisms. Species like humans, which eat both, are called 'omnivores'---'omni-' being a prefix meaning 'all' which I'm sure you have seen in words like 'omnipotent' or 'omniscient' <<

Animal husbandry:
If you’ve got a Greek Tortoise as your pet, you need a terrarium with a UV- lamp. The terrarium should be at a consistent temperature of ca. 25 °C.
The tortoises need a hiding place to sleep, a plate of water and stones, roots or other obstacles to climb.
They like to eat different herbs, salads, vegetables and fruits. In the summer they like to be outside, e.g. in a garden.

Protection of species:
The change of the climate and the interference in the living space of tortoises are very dangerous for a lot of species, e.g. for the Greek Tortoises.

>> e.g. stands for 'example given'. Since the entire article is about the tortoise, it seems awkward to name it as an example. It would be better to use i.e., which is Latin for id est and means 'that is' or 'such as' <<

Another big problem for them are tourists. A lot of people who take trips to the areas where the animals live steal some of them and smuggle them out of the country.
To stop that, the government decided that every Greek Tortoise in Germany needs something like an identity card. In this form is a picture of the bottom and the top of the shell. The bottom is like our fingerprint. On the identity card you can also read who’s the breeder and the owner of the tortoise.
Fun_Boy
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BeitragVerfasst am: 20 Okt 2007 - 18:48:28    Titel:

Zwanglos hat folgendes geschrieben:
Eigentlich sehr gut, aber wenn es um den Stil geht, würde ich Folgendes so bearbeiten:

History:
The first tortoise, called Proganochelys, was already on the earth about 60 million years before the dinosaurs. So they are, together with the crocodiles, the only living witnesses from the time of the dinosaurs.

Subspecies:
The Greek Tortoise is one of the three different tortoise species that lives near the Mediterranean Sea. There are two subspecies called Testudo Hermanni Hermanni and Testudo Hermanni Boettgeri. Both of them are normally active during the day. The Greek Tortoise is a reptile, which can live to be about 120 years old and and grow to be circa 20 cm big.

>> 'big' is a little vage/ambiguous here. Is he 20 cm long, wide, tall? Is the circumference of his shell 20 cm? Be more specific than just 'big' <<


Anatomy of Greek Tortoises
- The most conspicuous part of a/the tortoise’s body is the shell. It is the place into which the tortoise retreats if it finds itself in any immediate danger. The shell also protects the inner organs.

Between the parts of the shell are zones that are responsible for the growth.
Tortoises can use their shell to feel the vibrations of movement around them, such as steps.

>> Again, 'zones' seems a little vague here, and would do much better with a more scientific term. What exactly are these zones made up? Loose tissue? How do they grow? More details! <<

- The scales of the shell provide complete protection.
- Greek Tortoises like climbing and burrowing, therefore they need their claws. With their feet they’re also feeling temperatures.
- With their nose they’re searching for food and other tortoises. Their sense of smell is very keen. There is also a kind of organ in their heads which can feel temperatures, too.
- The ears are here (…) but these animals can’t hear very well. They hear mainly low sounds.

>> Low in pitch, or low in volume? Please specify! <<

The female animals need their ears to hear the males during the mating season.
- Here you can see the eyes. Greek Tortoises see very well! They’re even able to see little objects 10 m away from them in colour.

Tortoises are hematocryal:

>> Is that a fancy word for 'cold blooded'? <<

Tortoises aren’t able to make their temperature on their own like mammals or birds, but they take it from the environment surrounding them.
Their bodies have to adjust to the temperatures outside. After they wake up they need some time to receive the warmth of the sun. If their body has a temperature of 38 °C they are able to digest food.
Because of this characteristic they hibernate during the cold winter. If they live in the seas they bury themselves in the ocean floor, if they live in captivity the owner has to put his pet in a dark, constantly cold and wet room where the tortoise won’t be disturbed. They normally sleep about 5 months.

Reproduction:
The Greek Tortoise is able to reproduce at the age of 4 or 5 years but their mating season is only in the spring.
In the mating process, the male tortoise mounts the female and fertilizes the eggs. About 6 to 8 weeks later the female tortoise lays and buries the eggs. After 2 or 3 months the babies hatch out.

Natural living space:
If they live in freedom, they like to be in forests and shady thickets because they have natural enemies like birds of prey and there they’re out of danger. When it is too hot or too cold they burrow themselves.
Greek Tortoises don’t eat meat, but grasses and herbs.

>> If you want to be fancy, you can call them 'herbivores', which are plant-eating organisms, as opposed to 'carnivores' which are meat-eating organisms. Species like humans, which eat both, are called 'omnivores'---'omni-' being a prefix meaning 'all' which I'm sure you have seen in words like 'omnipotent' or 'omniscient' <<

Animal husbandry:
If you’ve got a Greek Tortoise as your pet, you need a terrarium with a UV- lamp. The terrarium should be at a consistent temperature of ca. 25 °C.
The tortoises need a hiding place to sleep, a plate of water and stones, roots or other obstacles to climb.
They like to eat different herbs, salads, vegetables and fruits. In the summer they like to be outside, e.g. in a garden.

Protection of species:
The change of the climate and the interference in the living space of tortoises are very dangerous for a lot of species, e.g. for the Greek Tortoises.

>> e.g. stands for 'example given'. Since the entire article is about the tortoise, it seems awkward to name it as an example. It would be better to use i.e., which is Latin for id est and means 'that is' or 'such as' <<

Another big problem for them are tourists. A lot of people who take trips to the areas where the animals live steal some of them and smuggle them out of the country.
To stop that, the government decided that every Greek Tortoise in Germany needs something like an identity card. In this form is a picture of the bottom and the top of the shell. The bottom is like our fingerprint. On the identity card you can also read who’s the breeder and the owner of the tortoise.
Wink
Fun_Boy
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BeitragVerfasst am: 20 Okt 2007 - 18:49:33    Titel:

PS: Was ich damit sagen wollte: Stil ist männlich, also musst du schreiben den Stil.

Aber Zwanglos, das wird Wink
Quendoline
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BeitragVerfasst am: 22 Okt 2007 - 11:03:30    Titel:

coooooooooooooooooooooooollll!!!!!!!!!! vielen dank!
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