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Bitte um Kontrolle meines Textes
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Hansy_02
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BeitragVerfasst am: 01 Apr 2006 - 15:34:03    Titel: Bitte um Kontrolle meines Textes

Könntet ihr bitte meien Text kontrollieren:

So if I saw the watch was broken and the men cam towards me, I began to run away. The man begins to run after me, but I was quiet faster then the men. After this hard time I went to the apprentice house and there I found Esther. She says to me ‘Come on! Go in to our room!’. In this moment I was the first time really happy. Then I sad down to a chair, ask for a piece of paper and put out my penknife. At first I was opening my clock to look what them happens. Then I saw that the gear wheel was damaged. I know how to repair this, because I have an uncle and he is clockmaker. So I only need a little peace of metal.
But in this time there weren’t so little peaces of metal so I cut a little peace of the clock hand and repair the gear. Now it was working. In this moment the Machine Breakers knock on the door. I put Esther hand and use the Time-T-Watch. But the Machine Breakers was faster then the watch. In this moment as the Machine Breakers open the door I open my eyes and I saw I was only dreaming!

DANKE!
The Eye
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BeitragVerfasst am: 01 Apr 2006 - 16:57:12    Titel: Re: Bitte um Kontrolle meines Textes

Hansy_02 hat folgendes geschrieben:
Könntet ihr bitte meien Text kontrollieren:

So when I saw that the watch was broken and the men came towards me, I began to run away. The man began to run after me, but I was quiet faster than this men. After this exhausting time I went to the apprentice house and there I found Esther. She said to me ‘Come on! Go into our room!’. In this moment I was really happy for the first time. Then I sat down on a chair, asked for a piece of paper and put out my penknife. At first I was opening my clock to look what happens then. Then I saw that the gear wheel was damaged. I know how to repair this, because I have an uncle and he is clockmaker. So I only needed a little peace of metal.
But in this time there existet no little peaces of metal so I cut a little peace of the clock hand and repaired the gear. Now it worked. In this moment the Machine Breakers knocked on the door. I put Esthers hand and used the Time-T-Watch. But the Machine Breakers was faster than the watch. In this moment when the Machine Breakers opened the door I opened my eyes and I realised that I was only dreaming!

DANKE!


Ich hab das mal in eine Zeitform gesetzt, weil du mehrere benutzt hast.
Du solltest dich mal hinsetzen und die Rechtschreibung üben Wink
Cindy___
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BeitragVerfasst am: 01 Apr 2006 - 17:20:49    Titel:

There were a lot of mistakes.

When I saw the watch was broken the man came towards me and I started to run away. Suddenly the man began to run after me, but I was quite faster then he. After this hard time I went to the apprentice house and there I saw Esther. She said to me: ‘Come on! Go in to your room!’. In this moment I was the first time really happy. Then I sat down on a chair, ask for a piece of paper and put out my penknife. At first I opened my clock to look what happens to it. Then I realized that the gear wheel was damaged. I know who might repair this. I have an uncle who is a clockmaker.
Hansy_02
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BeitragVerfasst am: 01 Apr 2006 - 17:21:28    Titel:

DANKE das ihr mir helft! Cool

Embarassed Embarassed Ist jetzt aber alles richtig? Embarassed Embarassed
ScHerzKeks++
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BeitragVerfasst am: 02 Apr 2006 - 00:50:05    Titel: so korrektur aber irgendwie versteh ich den inhalt nicht^^

So when I saw that the watch was broken and the men were coming towards me, I began to run away. The men began to run after me, but I was quiet faster than the men. After this exhausting time I went to the apprentice house and there I found Esther. She said to me ‘Come on! Go into our room!’. In that moment I was the first time that I was really happy. Then I sat down on a chair, asked for a piece of paper and put out my penknife. At first I opened my clock to look what had happened to it. Then I saw that the gear wheel had been damaged. I know how to repair clocks, because I have an uncle who's clockmaker. So I only need a little piece of metal.
But during that time there weren’t so little pieces of metal so I cut a little piece of the clock hand and repaired the gear. Then it was working. In that moment the machine breakers were knocking on the door. I took Esther's hand and used the Time-T-Watch. But the Machine Breakers were faster than the watch. In that moment when the machine breakers were opening the door I opened my eyes and I recognised that I was only dreaming
The Eye
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BeitragVerfasst am: 02 Apr 2006 - 08:37:33    Titel:

Recognized würde ich nicht nehmen, ich finde, da passt realized besser...
schakiiieee
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BeitragVerfasst am: 02 Apr 2006 - 11:02:17    Titel:

Ich würd schon das erste Wort rausnehmen:

Einen englischen (Auf-) Satz leitet man nicht mit "So..." ein.
Hansy_02
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BeitragVerfasst am: 02 Apr 2006 - 18:52:59    Titel:

Ich danke euch! Cool
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